I Solemnly Swear
by Becomingwhaturmeantobe
Summary: Two men, despite their differences, work together to protect Harry from the danger that threatens his very existence without him even knowing it. One of them is Sirius Black-his Godfather and the other, Severus Snape-his father. Sevitus, sort of.
1. I Solemnly Swear

**A/N: Hello all. It's been a long time since I've posted anything, especially a new story so I'm a bit rusty. Just wanted to say that I hope you enjoy. It's my first Harry Potter fic and I'm trying out my version of one of my favorite old ideas. Hope you will stick around with me for the journey. Enjoy and don't forget to review to let me know what you think! Specials thanks to deliriousdays, my wonderful beta!**

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter or the magical world created by J.K. Rowling. I just play around with the characters. _

* * *

**Chapter 1: **_I Solemnly Swear_

The man hurried along the street, avoiding the light cast by the street lamp and in turn blending into every other shadow. With his cloak tight around him, he kept glancing back at number four Privet Drive, the house that with each step he took, he was slowly leaving behind.

He wore a sour expression as he neared his destination just a few houses down from number four. It was far, but not far enough that he couldn't escape the feeling that as he moved further away he was leaving something behind; something important.

He shook the thoughts from his head, his black eyes no longer flickering back to number four; instead they focused intently on the house he was heading to.

Unlike all of the other houses on the quiet Surrey street, this house was completely dark, devoid of any light, not even the outside light by the door was on. This little deviation from normalcy must be what unsettled the muggles around, the man mused, thinking about what Arabella Figg had told the headmaster. How curious it was that people would avoid a house simply because of the absence of a light.

He couldn't understand muggles.

Rapping on the door twice, he waited patiently, careful not to look around or act suspiciously. He heard shuffling and a voice muttering what he could only guess was a slew of swears before the door was wrenched open with an ear-splitting creak.

A man stood in the doorway, his dark hair messy and his face unshaven, "Oh it's you, Snivellus," the man said with a hint of distaste behind his words.

Severus Snape sneered at the demeaning name he had been called relentlessly during his youth by the very man in front of him. Some things never change.

Sirius stepped to the side rather clumsily, allowing his visitor into his none-too-welcoming abode.

The inside was as dark as outside and in one swift motion, Severus drew his wand. With a flick of his wrist light flooded into the room.

"Ugh, must you?"

"I take little pleasure in being able to see you fully either, Black, but if we are going to continue these _visits_ I'd much rather be able to do it in the light."

Sirius turned to face him and Severus could see that the other wizard's eyes were glossy and red, either from having not been sleeping or from too much firewhiskey.

He assumed both were correct, "You look like rubbish." Black told him.

"I can say the same for you. Now are we going to stand here in your foyer all day or are you going to invite me in?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, come bloody well in."

Severus followed after Sirius as he made his way to the kitchen, not being able to hold back a sharp remark on the way, "I've had Death Eaters show me more hospitality."

Sirius gave him a bland look over his shoulder, clearly not amused with Severus' statement.

They walked past an empty room on their way to the kitchen. After eleven years it was still as bare as when they had viewed it together before Sirius made the purchase.

"Pity that the Black fortune couldn't be put to use buying you better furnishings."

Sirius' eyes swept over the room, where bits of dust had collected along the edges of the hard wood, "Not much use for a living room."

"I thought you had set an idea that you'd make it as presentable as possible in case the boy came to live here."

Black grunted but didn't say anything, a testament to whatever bad mood he was in and entered the kitchen, this better furnished, with some ancient muggle appliances and a sturdy wood table off to the side with a few chairs.

"I suppose I should offer you something. Tea, perhaps? Firewhiskey?" At this he held up a bottle that he could see was a quarter of the way full.

It was firewhiskey then, too much of it. The man was inebriated and there really was only one time of the year that he had seen him as such and that was a few months away.

Something must be wrong.

He frowned, not sure why he cared, and wondered if his talk with Albus had something to do with it.

"You have a common purpose now, Severus. It's much different from when you were fifth years. I wouldn't be so bold to say your hatred has diminished completely but that it simply gave way to a mutual understanding."

He remembered how he had flinched at the thought but had sobered up completely. It was true, even if he would rather suffer the Cruciatus Curse than admit it to Black.

"Did you hear me Snape?" Sirius asked and for a brief second, his wild gaze meeting Severus', "I asked if you heard anything from Arabella?"

"And you have not?"

Sirius sat back in his chair, hand leaving the firewhiskey and settling on his lap, "I don't really talk to her."

"Not unless you're masquerading as Padfoot you mean?"

Black's expression darkened after a brief moment of surprise crossed his features, "I don't know-"

"Oh don't be daft, Sirius. We are not all as empty headed as you," Severus spat, "Peter Pettigrew managing to become an Animagus at fifteen by himself?" he scoffed at such an outrageous idea, "Highly doubtful. He had to have help and since he was always trailing after you and Potter I'm certain that meant that you are an Animagus too."

At the mere mention of the rat named Peter Pettigrew, Sirius' face took on a heated look before he let out a long breath as if expelling any anger inside of him and gave Severus a challenging look as if to say 'Y_eah and so what?'_

"I've not been over to Mrs. Figg's house in some days because she hasn't been home and I was wondering if there was any news." said Sirius.

The headmaster had not said anything to him at their meeting earlier even when Severus had commented about the incoming first years, "Nothing that I know of, but I do expect that Albus would like to meet with the both of us soon enough to discuss…" he trailed off.

He had taken to calling him Potter or the boy in Black's presence just to get a rise out of the other man but he was never that in Severus' head; could never really be that either. From the moment he laid eyes on the bundle in Lily's arms, he was always Harry, even if he tried to fool himself while speaking out loud.

"Harry," Sirius breathed, saving Severus the pressure of deciding what to call him.

Sirius' eyes lit up for a moment as they always did when the conversation turned to his godson and the effect left him looking more drunk than before.

He grabbed for the bottle before him and took a long pull, slamming it down when he was done, "Those bloody muggles are keeping his letters from him, you know."

Severus felt his eyebrows come together. "What do you mean?"

"Owls have surrounded the place. Didn't you notice or are they gone by now? They only do that if you've purposely ignored a Hogwarts letter." When Severus didn't reply quickly enough Black continued, "Petunia and that oaf of a husband hate magic and they are determined to keep Harry away from it, from _us_." The glassy eyed gaze he gave was definitely not caused from the drinking now but from sadness and anger, "You remember Petunia, Snape."

Ah yes, how could he forget Lily's sister? How could he also forget that Black had access to his Pensieve where the memory in which he had first met Lily and Petunia Evans was stored?

"Dumbledore will see to it that Harry receives his letter." Severus finally said after a long moment of silence.

Severus would also have to have a few words again to the older man about the living arrangement Harry was given but again that wouldn't come to any good conclusions, just as it had eleven years before.

"Don't you think that it would be better if we just-" Sirius started but was interrupted by Severus.

"We will do nothing of the sort."

"WHY NOT?" Sirius was out of his chair now and a bit unsteady on his feet, "I'm his godfather! Lily and James wanted me to take care of him, not those damn muggles!"

"And you forget where I factor into this do you Black?"

"How could I?" Sirius sneered, "I know all about your responsibilities, but I don't see you doing anything!"

Severus too was on his feet now, "You don't think I would rather him be here? Unlike you, though, I am not selfish. I know what the best for him is."

Both men had their wands out and at each other's throats in an instant. Their eyes were daring each other to make the first move, to cast the first curse, but neither did.

Severus closed his eyes briefly, "I did not come here to duel you, Black."

Sirius gave a low chuckle and lowered his wand, "Much rather you had."

Severus put away his wand, "Anything else you wish to get off your mind?" He drawled.

"Don't supposed Albus would let me give Harry an anonymous birthday present?"

A small, very slight smile, worked its way onto Severus' mouth. Eleven was a big year but no doubt the Headmaster would advise against them giving anything to him, not yet anyway.

Sirius' shoulders fell and for a minute he truly did look like a lost mutt, "I guess I know the answer."

He didn't know what else to say so he turned around and walked back to the foyer, toward the stairwell.

"I'll leave you to your memories," Severus could hear Black say morosely as he climbed the stairs.

A quick Lumos charm revealed more empty dusty rooms, save for the one that Sirius occupied that held a bed and some other belongings. Severus didn't know exactly since he was never around really to get a good look.

The third room and last bedroom were more to the corner and probably had the most in it in the entire house. He and Sirius hadn't touched much since the last time the room was occupied. The makeshift cot still sat in the middle of the room, with whatever they thought they could salvage out of the wreck of the Potter's home.

He took a deep breath before entering and strode over to the little alcove where a Pensieve sat tucked for safe keeping. The stone structure was covered with runes all around the base and lead around to the bowl on top that was filled with the silver swirling memories of not only himself but Sirius as well.

"I cannot believe you spent your inheritance gold on that," he had said when Black levitated the huge Pensieve into the room. He couldn't believe why it was necessary.

"You don't think Harry should have an account of these things? Doesn't he have a right too?"

"You don't need a Pensieve to tell a child something, Black."

"We cannot tell it all. Besides, Dumbledore suggested it; he thought it might be good if anyone ever questions the-well you know."

Severus snapped out of his reverie. What memory did he want to relive today? What kind of masochistic thoughts did he want to endure? He was sure that Sirius came up here when he was just as depressed and when firewhiskey just wasn't cutting it.

He chose the memory from June 1981, one of the earliest memories among the collection. He leaned his head into the bowl and let himself fall into the memory.

_The first thing he was aware of, like he was that day, was how it smelled. There was the distinct fresh smell of flowers, honeysuckle and other scents, that carried pleasantly on the breeze. He watched himself stare at the garden, still beautiful in the memory and bursting with colors. He was not aware that someone had come up to the side of him and was watching his past self take in the view of the magnificent garden._

"_It's all I can really do now," Lily Potter said, startling him into whirling around to face her. He saw himself relax and soften when he registered who it was._

_He came in closer so that he was only a foot or two away from himself and Lily. She was so real. And that was the danger of the Penseive. He could stand here forever and watch her from his memories and if it wasn't for what was about to transpire here and what he had promised, he would._

Lovely Lily _Slughorn used to call her. And he was right. She glowed in a summer sun dress, long red hair flowing down her back, face spread out in a wide smile at the sight of him. One that hadn't been directed his way in a long time, he remembered, "Hello Sev," she greeted his younger self, as if they were back at Hogwarts and meeting to study for a potions exam._

"_Lily," he had said and he remembered not knowing quite what to do. The owl had found him in his Spinner's End home requesting his presence at the Potter's home. They hadn't talked since Graduation, why had she reached out to him now?_

_She rubbed her hands together and nodded toward the door, "Would you like to come in?"_

_He had nodded vaguely, still unsure and followed her into the house._

_Every time he visited this memory, he was shocked by how whole and together the house was. He expected to find it as he and Sirius had, broken with pieces of the ceiling collapsed onto the floor and everything strewn about, but it was tidy and comfortable, if he at the time found many things that way._

_Lily led him to the living room, where the hardwood floors were covered with a rug. There were bookshelves built into the wall around a stone fireplace. On the mantel were pictures. He noticed the one of the Order beside one of the Potter's wedding._

"_Can I get you anything?" she asked, "I've made some lemonade."_

"_I'm fine, thank you."_

_They stood awkwardly and Severus smiled at himself. Now, years after this memory had taken place, he could look back and see things he had missed. He saw how Lily kept playing with her hands and never stopped moving. She had been nervous._

_Finally she took a seat on the small couch in one of the corners, across from two armchairs. He sat down as well, eyes never leaving her._

"_How are you?" she asked and again he smiled, remembering how awkward it all seemed._

"_I'm-" he hadn't known how to answer the question. Miserable hadn't seemed appropriate since he knew he had chosen to work for the order and serve the Dark Lord. Fine wasn't acceptable either, because in those terrible times, no one was really fine._

_She smiled a bit, "Stupid question, I know." she moved a hand to push a piece of hair behind her ear but thought better of it._

"_How are you?" he asked, having nothing better to say._

_She pursed her lips and she avoided his eyes. "I've been meaning to talk to you at the meetings. I-I don't think it was right how we left it. We were young and well I see what you're doing now for us, for the Order and I wanted to thank you."_

_He remembered not knowing how to respond. He wanted to be angry because that was what she had asked him to come for? She couldn't have stopped him one of the times he was at an Order meeting? And he remembered feeling relieved because if it was as simple as that, he had nothing to worry about._

"_You're welcome." Was all he could manage. He certainly did not deserve thanks. There were half bloods and muggleborns who would certainly not thank him for what he had done but he didn't and couldn't mention that._

_Before either could say anything else, the door opened and Severus knew instantly who it would be. He was up on his feet before James could enter the room and was prepared to leave the instant the man has spotted him._

_But there was none of the old animosity on his face, no mischief playing on his features. He nodded once, "Severus," and then continued around to Lily where she stood and they embraced. He kissed her on the forehead and then sat down, one hand briefly touching her stomach before letting it drop to his side._

_Severus had been in shock. He had thought that Lily might want to see him, but both Potters? What for?_

_Lily considered him for a moment longer and bit her lip, then turned to look at her husband, who looked just as unsure, but nodded anyway, encouraging her to continue._

"_A few days ago Dumbledore told us about the prophecy." The way Lily said it had broken his heart. She knew that he knew and what he had done with that information._

"_I-" he had started._

"_We know what you did We also know that you urged Dumbledore to have us go into hiding and we're going to do that but because you are now a spy," James smiled at the word, "We thought that you might be able to help us with something."_

"_Help you? With what?"_

_At the time, everything had moved incredibly fast and he had not been able to take in as much as he would have before. But now as he stood feet away like he had done many times before and observed the scene objectively, he could notice that James was just as nervous as his wife. Years ago this would have made him smile. The great James Potter was nervous about something he needed Serverus' help on? That was just too rich. But now, years later and as James' memory began more and more distant, he could understand just a little better._

_He sighed to himself. _You've made me soft ghost.

_James took Lily's hand at his side. He imagined that he gave it a tight reassuring squeeze so that she could continue. He also knew that his past self was growing impatient and anxious. He all but wanted to demand what they wanted out of him so he could get it over with._

"_We wanted to perform a Geminus hereditas ritual in case well in case we didn't make it." Lily said and braved looking into his past self's eyes._

"_What?" he asked, rather dimly. It was the only reaction he seemed to be able to mutter and every time he viewed this memory he had the sudden urge to slap himself on the back of the head._

"_It's a ritual that creates another parent for the child, usually done when-"_

"_I know what it is Potter!" he said sharply, snapping out of whatever fog had come over him a minute before. He turned to Lily and from where he stood he could see the other self's face soften as he met her eyes again, "Why me?"_

_Lily smiled, another smile he remembered from their early days at Hogwarts. "I know you, Severus. And I believe you may be able to help save our son."_

_To this day chills came over him when she said _our _son. As if she already knew what his decision would be._

"_But I'm a-"_

"_Death Eater?" James said sourly, "Dumbledore assures us you know what side you belong too."_

_He remembered his mind was flashing with the great number of flaws in the plan but for some reason, a reason that baffled him today, he could not say no._

"_I understand it's a bit of a shock and I'm sorry. You can say no but will you at least consider it? We don't have much time but James and I can leave you alone for a bit. It's just we're a little short on time." At that she gave a short laugh and looked down at her protruding belly._

_What he knew of Geminus hereditas back then was very limited. It was old magic, blood magic that wasn't used that often. It was big during early wizarding wars when husbands left their pregnant wives for battle and never came home. Another man would have the charm performed on him and the child would effectively also become his._

_Lily placed a hand on his arm briefly before continuing out of the living room and James followed._

_He never knew how long elapsed between that moment and when James Potter came back in. He just knew he had been sitting in the chair, staring at the picture of the Order and going the idea over and over in his head._

_James cleared his throat and took the seat he had last vacated. For what seemed like hours neither said anything._

"_You want me to be a father to your child?" Severus said his eyebrow raised at the once Quidditch star._

_The other man thought over it for a moment, "No. I don't think anyone really wants to share their child. But I love my child and I don't even know him yet. I know that I would do anything for him and with this prophecy…" he sighed as if he were old and at the end of his life, which Severus now realized was partially true, "Voldemort is after us and we have our own protections in place but it may not be enough. We need all the help we can get and if that means that you have to do this, then I can accept that."_

"_Why not someone else? Black?"_

"_He's already Harry's Godfather. We need him to have a Godfather. And this is different."_

"_Harry?" he heard himself question._

_James smile. "Lily likes it."_

_He remembered getting angry after that. How could this stupid man, how could Lily believe that he could be any good at this?_

_James looked him in the eyes then, something he was sure he never wanted to do, 'I know how you feel about her. I just wonder if you're able to love her child too."_

_There was no groveling, no pleading. James made his case, calmly. He didn't tell Severus to back off, or get territorial like Severus always assumed he would if he ever found out the truth. James was talking like an adult and he was asking and reasoning._

_Severus remembered something pulling at him, something positive. He remembered feeling lightness, a happiness of sorts. He didn't know why, maybe it was as James had said and his love for Lily was influencing him but a few minutes later when Lily joined them with cups of tea, he agreed._

_The ritual was rather medieval. It required blood taken from a blessed silver blade and an oath in Latin. They repeated it in English too, just to be sure._

_When they were done James Potter had the audacity to grin at him. "Congratulations, you're a father."_

He pulled out of the memory soon after, the sick feeling in his stomach that always accompanied the end of the memory settling as he came back to the present.

Harry had been born a month later and the Potter's had been killed a year and three months after that, leaving him a single parent.

He took a seat in the rocking chair that Sirius had also bought with his inheritance money eleven years ago and tried to calm his thoughts. How good was the oath he took if he hadn't seen his son in eleven years? His own son was living with his muggle relatives who hated him because he couldn't convince Dumbledore that it would be safer if the boy came to live with him and Sirius.

The Geminus hereditas had made his blood apart of Harry's and had made the boy legally Severus' as well as James' and Lily's but it hadn't made him feel like a father.

He had actually never intended to form a bond with the baby. As far as he was concerned he was a back up, and the more he thought about it the more it proved to be true. He was a last resort and one that would surely be forgotten as Harry grew up.

A little whistle, decibels lower than the caterwauling charm but just as effective reverberated throughout the home and made Snape get up out of his chair before his mind could even register.

"Snape!" Sirius yelled from downstairs and Severus apparated to the kitchen in an instant.

"The alarm. Harry's left Privet Drive." Black's eyes were wild and his face drawn and pale. He was sobered completely from before and he grabbed his wand that was lying next to the empty bottle of firewhiskey. Before he could move another inch and owl dropped a letter on the table.

It read in Dumbledore's delicate scrawl: _Harry's safe. Floo to my office._

Sirius closed his eyes and his body relaxed a little. Severus breathed in deep, realizing somehow he had been holding his breath.

"This better be good," Black said over his shoulder and went to the living room where the fireplace was.

Severus whispered "Nox" and all of the light vanished from the house except for the green jet of flames that appeared after Sirius threw the floo powder down and said his destination.

It had begun to rain as Severus followed into the fireplace. He wondered fleetingly what kind of portents the rain could bring.

* * *

**ETA: **Thanks so much to Alex, for catching something I had missed.


	2. That I

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and added alerts for the story. It made my day to see all of them! I'm so glad that you are all enjoying this and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Much thanks again to my beta delieriousdays. Let me know what you think! Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter. I am merely just playing in the world that J.K. Rowling created. The plot of this story, however, is my mine. _

* * *

**Chapter 2: **_That I_

"Ah, Sirius, Severus, come in, sit down," Albus Dumbledore's voice drifted to them from beyond the fireplace. He sat behind his huge desk with the ever so gallant and magnificent Fawkes perched nearby. His blue eyes gazed at them behind the lenses of his half moon glasses, "Lemon drop?" he asked as they walked closer, extending a small glass bowl full of candies to them as if they were here on a social call and not here because just minutes earlier Sirius' godson left from the only place he was apparently protected.

Sirius was about to say as much when the headmaster retracted his arm that held out the candies to the two men, placing the bowl next to a curious looking orb.

"Harry is fine. I've sent Hagrid to give him his letter." The older man assured the two men before gesturing for them to take a seat in the two chairs positioned in front of his desk.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, still standing.

"Mr. Dursley took what he thought to be a much needed vacation. I assume he grew tired of his house being flooded by countless of unopened Hogwarts letters." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he folded his hands casually, seemingly relaxing in his chair a bit.

"Why couldn't we just give him the letters?" Sirius demanded as he took a step forward, his hands tightening to form clenching fists. His head was starting to hurt from the combined efforts of drowning himself in as much firewhiskey as possible and the tension that kept building up.

Severus glared at him but pursed his lips, biting back whatever comment was reeling through his head, and Dumbledore merely sighed, "I wish I had a simple answer for you, my boy."

"Yeah, it's as simple as going to get him from wherever they're hiding. He should be with us and they've got no right to keep the letters from him, no right at all. And what about the bloody wards? I thought they only worked if they remain at the house?"

"The wards will work wherever Petunia is and as long as she agrees to take him."

"And you had to twist her arm, didn't you?" Sirius questioned, raising his voice despite the pounding protests of his head.

"Sirius, we tried the wards when Harry was living with you and Severus. It didn't work and it wasn't prudent to take that risk."

"But what about-" Sirius paused to rub at his head as another particularly painful throb hit him and he knew he'd have to ask Severus for draught to get rid of the horrid headache, "-what about when he comes to Hogwarts?"

"I believe that he will be safe at Hogwarts. The remaining Death Eaters would not attack here. Wouldn't you say, Severus?"

Sirius turned to look as Severus glanced up sharply. His dark eyes narrowed for a minute, looking as if he would say something but instead he just nodded his head in agreement.

"When Harry comes to Hogwarts we will try a few things around his living quarters-"

"Gryffindor quarters, you mean?" Sirius asked.

Snape raised an eyebrow as if to scoff at the notion of Harry being placed in Gryffindor over Slytherin, "How sure are you that the boy will be sorted to Gryffindor."

"I'd bet my vault."

"Would you?" Severus asked and a ghost of a smile played on his features.

Sirius dropped the matter.

"As I was saying, when Harry is sorted, we will try a few spells to see if there is anything we can do. But I wouldn't dwell on it. We must not get our hopes up." Dumbledore said, "Now, will you two please sit?" he motioned again to the comfortable chairs. As much as Sirius wished to stand and not be treated as if he were a student again, he took a seat beside Severus.

"Again, I may ask a favor of you that you will probably find difficult." The Headmaster said, his posture straightening as he took on a more rigid look from the tranquil one he had moments before.

"Yes?" Snape answered.

"I don't want Harry to know of his-" In a rare moment, Dumbledore seemed to be at a loss of what to say, "-lineage. For his protection and yours I think it would be best if you and Sirius both, well, remain a secret."

"Are you mad?" Sirius asked surprised that he was able to keep his voice level despite the small bit of rage that rose from deep within him.

"Headmaster I-" Severus started to say.

"I know this will be difficult-" The older wizard began.

"Difficult? For eleven years I waited, just doors down, knowing that when Harry went to Hogwarts we'd be able to see him. Birthdays, Christmases I sat by, knowing that the Dursleys weren't doing a thing for him but I kept telling myself I'd make it up to him. And now you're saying that we have to be kept a secret?"

Dumbledore remained quiet and it was the Potion Master's low voice that broke through, "Perhaps there would be some way of contacting him?"

Dumbledore shook his head, "Once again I am terribly sorry. But I fear that things are starting up again. Horrible things and we may need your expertise in the matter." He looked at Severus when he said this and realization dawned on both Severus and Sirius.

"Because of _his _fucking mistakes I can't see my godson? So that Severus can continue to play for both teams?" Sirius shouted with his hands clamped around the arms of the seat he was at the edge of.

"This will only be temporary, Sirius."

The answer seemed to calm Sirius down, judging by the way he relaxed into his seat once more, hands no longer clutching at the wooden armrests, "How long is temporary?"

"I do not know," Dumbledore answered truthfully, "But Severus will see the boy during school and I hear that Padfoot gets along quite well with Mrs. Figg's cats." His eyes gleamed again and Sirius shrugged. So much for being stealthy.

"For the meantime while Harry is at school we will play around with some warding but you will remain a secret. Harry can have no idea. That isn't to say that you two won't be able to help behind the scenes, however." Albus smiled broadly, "Just because Harry cannot know of you does not mean that you may not see him. Sirius for you it might be a little more distantly but obviously that won't be true for Professor Snape, here."

Sirius blew out his breath and sat back. _Help behind the scenes. _That sounded better. And it was temporary. Temporary wasn't so bad. He turned to gaze out at the window which showed a starless night. The darkness was endless and lit up occasionally when a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky followed by a crack of thunder.

From beyond the black of the night, a shadow swooped to the window, all but slamming into the glass, causing the two younger men to jump.

"Ah, that'll be Hagrid's owl." The Headmaster said, standing from his seat before walking to the window, opening it a crack to take a rain soaked letter from the spotted owl and in return placing something in its beak. Sirius watched it fly away as Albus opened the letter. His eyes scanned it and then he folded it up and placed it on the corner of his desk.

Sirius' and Severus' eyes met for a brief second. And concern might have been mirrored there. It might have been comical if there wasn't so much nervousness in the room.

"Well?" Severus drawled.

Sirius sat forward in his chair as if he were Padfoot and waiting for a scrap at the table.

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore said as if he didn't know the both of them were anxiously waiting for news, "Hagrid's given Harry his letter and he's taking him to Diagon Alley to get his supplies."

"Don't know why we couldn't have taken him." Sirius muttered under his breath but the Headmaster ignored him.

"Harry is probably very confused at the moment. Would you want to bombard him more with introductions?" Albus asked pointedly, lowering his head and raising his eyebrows, his blue eyes piercing Sirius.

"No I guess not." Sirius sighed, "Did Hagrid say that he was okay?"

Dumbledore smiled, "The boy is probably terribly excited. I would imagine he is fascinated and as I stated previously, a bit overwhelmed."

Sirius could only imagine Harry's face as they walked through Diagon Alley or the first time he held a wand or walked into Gringotts. Unfortunately, that was all he could do at the moment. _Imagine._

"If we aren't going to tell Harry about his _lineage_ then what do you plan on telling him? He will surely find out about-" Sirius was sure that Severus frowned as he followed Dumbledore's request not to say You-Know-Who or the Dark Lord. "Voldemort." There was a small pause before he continued, "And can you be certain that the giant won't be over excessive with what he wishes to divulge?"

"I do not know what Harry will hear and there is no way we can stop him from learning of the past. Hagrid will tell him nothing that will endanger him and nothing that I'm sure he will not learn on the train."

"Speaking of the train," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together as he sat forward, "I don't think that it would be reckless to have a stray dog walk around the platform, don't you think?"

Severus's eyes narrowed at him, "You heard what the headmaster said, Black. We aren't to make ourselves known."

Sirius snorted, "So you're going to pretend that you're not his Potion's professor? And he already knows Padfoot, remember?" He grinned at the other man, enjoying that the Potion's Master looked like he was growing more agitated with him at the minute. It was a small comfort that he could get on Severus' nerves.

"Oh yes, how could I forget that you would willingly put your godson in danger by-"

"Gentlemen," Albus cleared his throat, "Your verbal sparring match is quite amusing but perhaps you could save it for another time?"

Severus inclined his head and Sirius merely nodded.

"Good. Now, I see no reason why Sirius could not be present while Harry gets on the train." Dumbledore turned his attention directly to the ex-Auror, "If you promise to stay at a distance. We don't want anyone getting suspicious."

Sirius nodded. It was better than nothing. A crack of thunder followed by lightning lit up the dark sky in the window behind Albus. One of the portraits started to awake and grumbled something about blasting curses before getting back in a comfortable position.

Dumbledore glanced down at something on his desk and smiled softly, "Ah look at the time. Harry's been eleven for three hours now."

The comment sent Sirius into a state of nostalgia as he remembered the day Harry came into this world and how happy he had been then.

"Headmaster," Severus said, startling Sirius out of his memories of the day his godson had been born, "It wouldn't be possible for you or Hagrid to pass along a gift?"

Sirius felt his mouth drop. Severus, who most of the time avoided the topic of Harry altogether, was asking Dumbledore if they could get Harry something, a present none-the-less.

Dumbledore's smile grew as much as Sirius' jaw dropped, "I am sure Hagrid has something in mind. Now, I think it is best we retire for the night."

Severus nodded; about to get up before he saw the expression Dumbledore was wearing.

His lips were pursed and he looked as if he was mulling something over in his head, "I think that a conference a week would do, don't you Severus?"

Severus gave him a confused look and Sirius' eyebrows drew together, "What do you mean?"

"Well I just thought you'd want to be updated on Harry's progress. It won't make up for the fact that you cannot see him but alas it is better than nothing. So unless Severus or I decide to call you about everything, I think we can fire call once a week."

Severus got up from his chair, "I think that is a good idea."

Sirius smiled a bit despite himself. The Slytherin wouldn't have agreed if Sirius had suggested it, but because it was Dumbledore who had come up with the idea, the brooding Potion's Master had no objections. Sirius stored that particular observation away in the back of his mind for future use against Severus, "Me too."

"It's settled then. I think our first conference should take place the night of the sorting, agreed?"

"Definitely." Sirius said with a grin. _And then I can see Snape's face when Harry gets sorted into Gryffindor. _

Severus nodded his head and he and Sirius said his goodbyes and went through the Floo and back to Sirius' humble abode. He snorted as the green flames engulfed him. The house was more like a dungeon.

Sirius dusted himself off when got through and used a Lumos charm on the tip of his wand to navigate through the empty rooms and hallways. He had no intention of tripping over something he might have dropped carelessly.

He got as far as threshold of the living room when the fireplace crackled to life again and spat out another person. He raised his eyebrow and turned his wand to Severus, "You following me, Snape?"

"Someone has to make sure you don't drink yourself to death, Black." The Potion's Master exchanged dryly.

Sirius folded his arms so now the wand was lighting up a particular grimy section of wall with the ugliest wallpaper he had seen since Grimmauld place. His mother would have been proud, "Did the Headmaster send you to babysit me Snape? How nice. Did he tell you to wash your hair too?"

There was a quick movement and then Sirius was on his back staring up at the shadows of cobwebs on his ceiling.

In two strides Severus was standing over him his tight expression blocking his field of vision, "If you had been any less drunk you could have blocked that."

"'m not drunk," Sirius said although his head had begun swimming again and his stomach was churning awfully. He wasn't able to hold the whiskey as he used to, how pitiful, "Don't know why you care either."

Severus did something that eleven years ago would have made Sirius second guess. He reached his hand out so he could help the ex-Auror up. Rolling his eyes, Sirius took it and pocketed his wand after he whispered Nox. His eyes had adjusted and he could see the outline of the other man's pale face.

"Because, you fool, we are in this together. Like it or not."

Sirius laughed out loud at that, a maniac laughter that edged on being hysterical, "And what is this _this _that you speak of, Severus?"

Severus muttered something but Sirius wasn't able to hear as if he were a bit embarrassed to say it.

Sirius leaned forward, a cocky sort of smile on his face as he asked, "What was that?"

"Protecting Harry."

"Yes and _raising _Harry. When we get the chance."

"You really are drunk," Severus said and he could see the other man pinch the bridge of his nose.

"No. I'm just a bit knackered and now I'm going to bed. See to it that you see yourself out. Goodnight Snape."

Snape snorted, "Goodnight Black."

Sirius took it slowly going up the stairs; afraid he might trip and fall flat on his arse again. When he made it upstairs he purposely avoided looking at the bedroom at the end of the hall and went straight into his own, collapsing on his bed with a huff and shutting his eyes tightly as random images played burned across his eyes.

Like most nights his dreams were pleasant and random for the first half of his sleep but at some point they turned horribly wrong.

He had the same dream he always had, except with different variations. James was there, he had somehow come back to life but only to tell him that he had failed at protecting his son. Harry was dead and he had killed him. He was supposed to be living with Sirius and Snape, not the Dursleys. Sirius and Snape could protect him, not Petunia and Vernon. And then because he couldn't do the one thing that James and Lily had asked of him, he was murdered. Not by Lily or James but by fate. Or something. He never got that part down.

The dream used to scare the shit out of him. So much so that he used to call Severus in the middle of the night to make him a Dreamless Sleep Potion until Severus just gave him viles of it. He had the nightmare so much that he had gotten used to it. He'd wake up, shaking, sometimes having to stumble to the bathroom to throw up, and then he'd take some of the potion and go back to sleep. So much so that it had become a routine. Severus never asked about his nightmares and Sirius never told him. Because he knew the Potion's Master had enough of his own and he shuddered to think if they ever had to compare.

He reached in the side drawer of the end table and pulled out a vile, swallowed it down and then lay back down.

A few hours later he woke up to sunlight trying to peak its way though his heavy shades and an intruder messing around in his kitchen. Sirius grabbed his wand and swung his legs over the bed, puffs of dust coming up as his feet hit the hard wood floor.

The sound of a teapot whistling greeted him as he entered the kitchen as well as the sight of Severus Snape in the same robes as the day before and a tired expression which meant that he hadn't gotten any sleep at all.

"You might want to spend some time in the present and not waste all your days immersed in that Pensieve," Sirius said in greeting and padded over to one of the cupboards where he took out a mug. He planned on having a very strong cup of coffee this morning.

"I was saving memories as well as observing them." Severus said and with a flick of his wrist the tea pot poured steaming liquid into a brown mug.

"Never took you for a tea drinker, Snape."

"Who said it was tea? I will need something to keep me awake today as my project with the Pensieve and your whimpering kept me up all night."

"Whimpering?" Sirius scoffed, "I don't whimper."

Severus' eyebrows were drawn together and nothing said he wanted to volley back and forth. Sirius could be mistaken but was that concern he detected in those dark eyes?

"Everyone has nightmares, Sirius." Severus said softly.

"That they do but not everyone has seen the things that we have." Sirius wanted the conversation to end right there because neither of them was very adept at sharing things with each other and he didn't want to talk about it. The last thing he needed was to talk about it.

"Harry is safe, you know."

"Who said it was about Harry?" Sirius said, although he knew that question was ridiculous. Of course it was about Harry. Harry, James and Lily. Always.

When Severus didn't say anything Sirius set about making the coffee.

"Do we need to talk about this?" Severus asked.

"I don't see you sharing your nightmares."

"I don't think you'd wish to endure what I see." Severus said simply.

"Huh, as if my mind isn't already good at cooking things up." Truth was, Sirius didn't want to know. He could imagine and that was enough. He wanted this conversation to end.

The coffee had a dose of chocolate liquor he had gotten from the adult section of a sweet shop in Diagon Alley and was just what he needed. Severus stared at it for a moment before taking a sip of his own brew.

"What are you planning on doing today?" Severus asked and Sirius almost spat out his coffee at the normalcy of the question. He wanted to reply with a sarcastic comment but figured that adding bitterness to the conversation would only prove annoying and useless.

"I was thinking of Flooing over to Grimmauld place and working on the portrait. What about you, dear?" Sirius snorted to himself at the last part but Severus ignored him, instead folding his hands around the mug.

"You do know that you are wasting your time and magic on that portrait. There's a permanent-"

"Sticking charm, yes I know. Doesn't mean I can't figure out a way to set it on fire or something."

"Or you could just cut the wall away and put up a new one." Severus suggested sarcastically.

"That was the plan."

There was silence. Eleven years ago they would have loved to have a moment of silence where Harry was asleep and not fussing. Back when they completely loathed each other and now well, now it wasn't quite hate. They weren't best mates but there was an understanding there or something like it.

Sirius sighed loudly, "Or I could see what Remus is up too."

"Yes the werewolf. Any luck finding a job yet?"

Sirius wanted to blast him for the animosity but knew that just like his hate toward Sirius had faded, so did it for Remus. The words were empty, mostly.

"Yes having the Wolfsbane helps. And I'm sure he's ever so grateful."

Severus muttered something before taking another drink of tea. Sirius imitated him and felt the warmth travel down his throat, lighting small flames along the way. He loved the addition he put in.

"And you?"

"And you, what?" the other man snapped.

"You asked me my plans I thought it would be in good taste to ask yours. Getting together with more Death Eaters are we?"

"I meet only with a few and mostly Lucius Malfoy. He tells me your cousin is doing well."

Sirius turned away, a hint of distaste on his face. Narcissa was as much of a cousin to him as Walburga Black was a mother. "I cannot believe you'd bother to even associate with them."

Severus raised his eyebrows, "I have to or did you not hear the Headmaster last night? I might still be useful and that means-"

Sirius tried to ignore the chill that he felt by finishing the last of his coffee, "I know what that means." he said, gritting his teeth as the last of the liquor did not have the desired effect but instead the opposite one.

"But no, I won't be visiting them today. I've got some work to do at Hogwarts today to prepare for the new term."

"Yes and again I am reminded that you get to actually speak to Harry while I am stuck here staring at the dying shrubs."

Severus frowned, "We will meet every week. I didn't just say that to assuage the Headmaster, you know. I realize that it's important."

Sirius swallowed. It was important. He wanted to hear as much as he could about his godson, "Thanks."

Severus looked down at his robes, "I do think that there will be a time soon where we can talk to him. Both of us. As we are."

Sirius looked away, staring out the window at a few birds flying about a tree in the backyard, "Yeah well…" His sentence died off, left unfinished.

Severus must have been done with his drink because he tapped his wand to it and then levitated it toward the cupboard, "I will talk to you at our conference after the sorting."

Sirius' mouth lifted, "Gryffindor, I'm telling you."

It might have been a trick of light but the other man's mouth might have lifted in the same way, "We'll see, Black, we'll see."

* * *

From Harry's spot in the yard he could hear that Aunt Petunia was on the phone, spreading the story that Harry was going away to school and that Dudley had to have a small surgery done before he started at Smeltings. And wasn't he just a brave boy dealing with the sudden illness?

The Dursleys had been ignoring him since Hagrid dropped him back home with his trunk full of supplies of Hogwarts. That was perfectly alright with him. It gave him time to sit in the yard and think about what he had to look forward to. Or worry about it.

There was a possibility he would get there and they would figure out they had made some dreadful mistake. No magic for Harry Potter. And they'd send him back to the Dursleys where he'd have to go to the state school wearing Dudley's hand me downs. They'd never let him forget about the time where he was almost someone instead of the boy with the weird scar and no parents.

Petunia was now talking about how Vernon had taken them to a lovely retreat for the weekend. Of course she would lie to the neighbors. Harry knew it was all about keeping up with appearances.

He was about it go back to Dudley's second bedroom, which he still wasn't quite sure was his yet, when the noticed the big black dog edging its way onto the property.

He quickly glanced back at Aunt Petunia, but she had moved from the sitting room to the kitchen and wasn't around to chase after the dog with a broom or something.

"Hey boy," he said, getting up and moving toward it. He scratched him behind his ears and the dog closed his eyes thankfully. He had shown up a few times at Mrs. Figg's and had taken to lying comfortably at Harry's feet and eating any scraps he had given him. There was something familiar about the dog but it might have been that he has seen him around the few times as Mrs. Figg has said the dog's name was Padfoot and was great for making trouble and barging in where he probably shouldn't be. Harry thought he had been imagining but the dog seemed to hang his head at that.

"Don't suppose you know anything about Hogwarts do you?" The dog cocked its head to one side and Harry sighed, "I don't really know what to make of it."

A warm breeze floated past and Harry shifted his position on the ground. The sun was going to set soon. Uncle Vernon made sure that the doors were locked at nightfall so Harry would be forced inside. He may be avoiding speaking to the boy but he still controlled his movements.

"I probably won't see you for a while, so you'll have to hang around Mrs. Figg for scraps." Even when the Dursleys portions were small he tried to save some food for Padfoot. Mrs. Figg grudgingly gave the dog scraps from the table when it was nice enough to sit outside and her cats wandered between the legs of the patio table.

Harry sighed and drew his knobbly knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms protectively around them. The dog stared at him and Harry suddenly had the thought that the dog really wanted to speak. He smiled a little and scratched the dog's scruffy head.

"Do you have a family Padfoot? Do you have someone to belong to?" He didn't know why but he felt horrible at the thought that the dog had no where to go or anyone to go to. When the dog continued to pant at him Harry shrugged, "I don't have anyone either. Well, I have the Dursleys but they're not much."

Padfoot lay his head down with a whine that sounded so pitiful Harry shook his head quickly, "But I'm okay you know. And now I've got Hogwarts so-"

The dog looked up at him with his head still on the grass, an expression that was all too human and Harry trailed off, "We'll be okay now." He hated how his voice sounded so hopeful but he wanted to believe that everything would be okay. He reached out to scratch the dog's head again and Padfoot leaned into his touch.

Harry saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned quickly to see Uncle Vernon standing with a glass in his hand as he stared critically out the front window.

"Be good, boy." Harry said to the dog again as he pushed up off the ground, "I'll see you again soon." And with that he left the only good thing about Privet Drive behind and went up the steps to the house, hopeful that Uncle Vernon was too engrossed in his drink than to cook up some plan to get rid of the dog. He lingered for a moment at the door, looking out at the window to see Padfoot move off down the street and tried to shake the feeling of familiarity.


	3. Severus

**Chapter 3: **_Severus_

It was nearly midday and Sirius was going mad in the house. Dark clouds had descended over Little Whinging and rain looked imminent, as it always did. It would have been nothing since he never minded getting his paws dirty, but Harry wasn't out and it didn't look that he was likely going to be.

He was at the kitchen table, waiting for the water for tea to warm up while precariously balancing himself on the two back legs of a chair, his head tilted back to stare up at the shadows on the ceiling.

James and he would sit for hours like this, with Remus doing his homework, timing them with a well-meaning frown, and Peter gawking at them as every minute went by. He always won because Lily would come into the common room and James would fall back on his arse like a complete prat.

Sirius smirked at the memory. Evans, because she was always Evans in his memories then, would roll her eyes in disgust and walk off to bed, leaving poor Prongs on the floor, with his mouth hanging open almost as comically as Wormtail before him.

_Wormtail. _

Sirius felt his lips curl around his teeth, felt his heart start to pound and fingers start to flex as if getting ready to wrap around his thick throat. The Daily Prophet, delivered at a time even Merlin himself would not rise, ran a story by that bitch, Rita Skeeter, about Harry going to Hogwarts and how James and Lily would be so proud. Of course it mentioned that there was no news on the infamous traitor, Peter Pettigrew but that was to be expected. There were many places a rat could hide.

Before he could finish that train of thought a knock on the door, which he had charmed so he could hear it anywhere in the house, alerted him to a visitor. He pushed forward lightly and righted himself, stood up and walked to the door.

He opened it without checking the wards or the little peephole and found Remus's frowning face staring back at him.

"Well, hello," he greeted, "Do come in."

"How do you know who I am?" The other man asked and Sirius frowned.

"Because…you're Remus John Lupin and I know you're ugly mug better than I know my own most days." He tried to grin but Remus's face was still dark.

"You were an Auror, Sirius. You didn't think to check the wards, or ask me something only Remus would know? If I i_were/i_ a Death Eater and you opened that door, you'd barely have enough time to blink before I killed you."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "I knew who was coming. And the Death Eaters don't know where I am."

"But Remus does. What if he was attacked? He's easy to find and could be Imperiused to give your location. This," Remus gestured to the tattered clothes he was wearing, "Could be a well brewed Polyjuice Potion."

He tried to hide the shudder as he spoke, "Obviously you're not. No Death Eater would bother explaining to me all of this."

"No, they wouldn't. They'd probably just drop a few Unforgivables before either deciding to do you in or use you."

"That won't happen." Sirius said, his frown deepening.

"It won't," Remus agreed, "Because you'll think better won't you? Or are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Sirius ignored the barb and stepped aside, "Come in?"

"I'd feel better if you asked me something only Remus would know."

"You _are _Remus."

"Still?" Remus said and he looked at once like the young boy who would try to coax Sirius and James into studying when they wanted to go off with the Maurader's map instead.

"In fifth year you got us out of detention with Sluggy by doing what?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"By asking about his most proud member of the Slug club and he kept me there for three hours because he couldn't decide between Ambrosius Flume and Barnabus Cuffe. And you lot didn't come back and get me."

Sirius laughed, "We were there the whole time. James took out his cloak and we waited there. I'm surprised you didn't hear us laughing."

Remus shook his head and stepped inside, "Good to see you again," he said, dropping the dark demeanor of before.

"Then why the shaky start?"

"Just because you're hidden doesn't mean you can't be found." Remus said sadly and Sirius swallowed hard and followed his friend to the kitchen.

"Tea?" he asked as Remus sat down at the table.

Remus nodded and Sirius set two cups out.

"Do you know what tomorrow is, Moony?" he asked with a grin as he carried the mugs over to Remus.

"September first, right?"

Sirius sat down in the chair and wrapped his hands around the warm tea, "Harry'll be going off to Hogwarts tomorrow."

Remus smiled, the corner of his mouth coming a bit up but it was not reaching his eyes. He must have read the article as well.

"I plan on sending a howler to Rita Skeeter," he said conversationally.

"I do believe that is a good idea. Try to conceal your voice though? The last thing we need is a sensational article." Remus took a sip of his deep and held it to his face, his lip almost resting on the edge.

Sirius wondered when he had reached the age where he and his friend would sit around for tea and not a game of chess like they once had. He knew more that circumstance and situation rather than age played a big part on their behavior. It was hard to relax and talk as if nothing had happened, even if it was eleven years ago. He told himself to better try to work on that.

"Do you remember your first ride on the train, Remus?" he asked suddenly, staring out at the dark sky behind the dirty window.

The other man broke into a smile, placing down the mug and rubbing his hands together, "How could I forget? That was the first and last time I'd ever seen you so shy."

"I was not shy!"

Remus thought for a moment, "No, I don't think that's the word. Cautious, maybe? You had just come into our compartment, where- where Peter and I were staying and you and James were still testing each other out, I believe. After the sorting, you two lost all of that and acted as if you had known each other since birth."

Sirius smiled at that, "Well, I didn't know much about you all yet, did I? I was taught by my _mother_ to like only purebloods and mostly if not always pureblood Slytherins. I was half caught between wanting to be the good little son and finally figuring out that I had some freedom."

"What else do you remember?" Remus asked with a small smile on his face as he folded his hands around the mug.

Sirius snorted, "James and I had shared a compartment with Snape and Lily for about ten minutes. It is so very weird that the first few people I meet on the train should come to mean so much later on." he said the last part softly, not bothering to really explain what he meant, especially about Snape. What did the other man mean to him really? He was a pain in his ass, there was no denying that, but there was also a shared experience in those few months and even before Lily and James had been killed and it wasn't something he could accurately put into words.

Remus didn't say anything and Sirius sat there and let his tea grow cold.

He realized how much their conversation jumped in starts and skips but that was his thought process lately. He would think of a memory or an idea and let it pass until something else came to mind to either distract him or let him wade in his own misery, "I've a bet with Severus that Harry will be in Gryffindor rather than Slytherin."

Remus got up and took their cups, not commenting on the most of the liquid still sloshing around in Sirius', and said, "Slytherin?"

"Well, because of the Geminus Heriditas, Slytherin's in his blood now." Sirius tried not to grimace at the thought that still caused him to shudder sometimes even if he had come to terms with it as best as he could.

"At the rate you two are going, he'll be in Ravenclaw."

Now Sirius did grimace, "Didn't think of that."

Moony chuckled and sat back down, slowly.

"Hey, why don't on the next full moon we go out for a bit?" He fought himself from using 'marauding' because they never really would get a chance to do that again, would they?

Remus looked down at his scarred hands that were probably still that way from the last full moon, "I don't think so, Sirius."

"Why not?" he asked, sitting more close in his chair so that he could lean in a bit, "It would be-" he tried to search for a word. He honestly didn't know how it would be since they hadn't gone out on a full moon since just before Lily and James were killed. He knew it would be better than watching Remus scar himself and better than he being all alone.

"It would be what? Fun? Like old times? For who, Sirius? You or me?"

"I just thought it would be easier, mate. We don't have to go out but at least don't let-" he paused for a second as a thought occurred to him, "You're punishing yourself, aren't you?" When Remus didn't say anything, Sirius just stared, "What do you have to blame yourself for, Moony?"

Remus, who had been staring blankly at something behind Sirius turned his gaze to the man in front of him. Sirius noted something he had failed to notice before; Remus looked much older than thirty two.

"And you don't?" Remus asked.

"I don't what?" Sirius asked, ready to throw his hands up in the air. Sometimes talking to Moony was a bit like talking to a goblin; full of riddles and hard to follow sentences.

"Blame yourself. Why don't you ever go out and do things? Meet people?"

Sirius felt his mouth drop a bit. He shrugged it off though, "I can't. I have to watch Harry. But we're not talking about me, Remus."

"Yes we are, _Sirius._ And you're not watching Harry when he's in school. Or what about now that he's going to Hogwarts? How can you claim that you're watching him then?"

"It's not that simple, Remus. I-"

Remus didn't let him finish, "Don't say that Dumbledore ordered to you because I know exactly what Dumbledore said. You are not to talk to Harry but that does not mean you can't talk to anyone else." Remus said, his voice stern.

Sirius almost had a flashback to sixth year after the prank that almost destroyed their friendship. Remus hadn't talked to him for almost two months and when he did, it was with the same disappointed, world-weary voice.

"You could go to Muggle London or Diagon Alley. It's not as if you're forbidden."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sirius muttered, his eyes downcast.

"Oh come off it, Sirius. Learn to live a little and maybe I'll do the same."

Sirius glanced up then, the words causing him to narrow his ideas, "Live a little?" he said, his voice raising a bit as his shoulders tensed, "Yeah, I'll live a little. When Peter's in Azkaban or better yet, dead. Or maybe when I can see my godson and actually talk to him. And what about James and Lily, Remus? _Are they living a little_?"

There was a look of hurt in Remus' eyes as he sighed, "That's not fair, Sirius and you know it. They wouldn't want you wallowing in your own self pity. Get up and do something productive."

Sirius relaxed, his shoulders slouching as he smiled just a bit, "You sound like Snape."

Moony shook his head and sat back in his chair, calming a bit, "I'm sure he'll love to hear that."

They were quiet for a moment and each in their own thoughts. Finally, Sirius spoke up, his tone wistful, "If you promise to go out on the full moon with me, I'll promise to go to Diagon Alley?"

Remus rolled his eyes, probably reminiscing about how many of these sorts of deals the three of them had made in the past, "Fine then, dog."

Sirius' eyebrows shot up, "Woof."

* * *

It was hard looking at Diagon Alley the same way as he had before James and Lily had been murdered. It was even hard to look at it the same way as he had before Harry had been taken away from them. It was brighter then and softer. Now all of the shadows were in focus and every sound, every look in his direction, he took to have a deeper meaning. He could allot it to world weariness and the idea that he was more cautious than he was back then but he knew it all added up to the fact that it just wasn't fun anymore.

Quality Quidditch reminded him too much of James and the hours his best mate would spend precariously studying every supply in there. Flourish and Blotts reminded him too much of Lily because she could be just as infuriating as James and spend hours perusing the shelves without once getting bored while he himself was bored to tears.

Then there was Florean Fortescue's. Sirius was proud to say that he had given Harry his first ice cream. Just days before Dumbledore took his godson away, Severus and Sirius took him to Diagon Alley. They had been nervous that day but had protected Harry with a small glamour that should have kept his scar from being too noticeable. While Severus was in the apothecary, Sirius snuck the baby off to Fortescue's and they enjoyed treacle tart flavored ice cream for a good ten minutes before Severus burst in.

The potion's master would never admit it but Severus knew that he'd nearly had a heart attack when he couldn't find them. On the way back to the house Sirius was lectured on the irresponsibility of disappearing like that, especially given the history and the little boy under their care. Sirius knew the other man was just a scared parent who, for a couple minutes that must have seemed like a lifetime, he couldn't find his child. It was all these reasons, reasons that reminded him of Harry, James and Lily that he found going to Diagon Alley so hard.

Yet here he was. His hands stuffed in his cloak, walking slowly down the crowded walkways, taking in new additions and trying to push away memories of the old ones. He wondered if just being here would suffice or did he have to buy something? It was crowded with last minute shoppers, all getting ready to send their children to Hogwarts tomorrow. He passed parents screaming at their children, children screaming at their parents. He even thought he heard one girl arguing with her mother that it might be best if she had just stayed home from Hogwarts because she was way too nervous.

He sighed and was about to get ready to apparate back home when a familiar voice, stopped him.

_Bloody perfect. _

"If it isn't the white sheep of the Black family." Lucius Malfoy crooned mockingly, a tight smile on his face and his eyes gleaming with some malicious intent. Sirius wondered how long he had to escape the Aurors if he just hexed the man right here and got it over with.

He decided he could do nothing for Harry if he was in a cell in Azkaban and blinked instead of raising his wand, "Hello Lucius." he said, trying to imitate Severus's perfect fuck-off-drawl.

"You don't usually see anyone in Diagon Alley who isn't a parent or a student, Sirius? Here for something important?" Sirius marveled at the man's voice. How it could sound so genuine in places, but laced with a dark undertone that matched something in his facial expressions.

"No, actually. Just thought a bit of fresh air would do me good. How about you? Your son is going to Hogwarts this year, too? Isn't the train leaving soon?" Sirius pretended to check his nonexistent watch and looked up to smile.

"Yes, Draco will be attending Hogwarts. I will be taking him there soon but had a few things to pick up. I am happy I ran into you though. I hear that you are leaving Grimmauld Place alone and have taken up another residence? Narcissa would love to have a look at some of the old Black heirlooms and-"

"No."

Malfoy's smile shrank ever so slightly, "It would be a favor to your family, Sirius."

"I don't owe Narcissa any favors, i_Lucius/i."_ Sirius said, trying to keep his voice smooth like Malfoy's as to not let his anger take over. It wasn't really working.

"Well, then let us owe you a favor, hm? There is a certain rat that we so unfortunately have in our acquaintance and I know how auspicious it would be to know his whereabouts. Especially since your godson is also attending Hogwarts this term, am I correct?"

Sirius felt himself snarl, not at all surprised at how like Padfoot he was in that moment, "Don't you dare-"

Lucius' wax like features split into another smile, "I was just offering. Keep it in mind?"

Then as quickly as the conversation had started it ended. Malfoy disappeared behind a few students rushing into Madam Malkin's and Sirius was left with the urge to curse something.

* * *

Severus usually was able to turn off his emotions and immerse himself in brewing potions quite easily. All it took was the solitary confinement of the back room of the classroom, a dim setting and some sort of drink, usually some kind of malt although he never really drank it. Its mere presence and the continuation of his routine was enough for him to delve deep into his projects.

Today, however, he was finding it quite hard to keep his mind on task. He had occluded several times already and had even taken a few swallows of the malt in order to focus better. It was of no use. His thoughts kept going to the boy, his son, and every time he imagined Lily's voice talking about him. Whenever the subject of Harry's housing at Hogwarts had come up Sirius and James had immediately agreed that it had to be Gryffindor but Lily would just tickle the baby's cheek and coo at him.

"_We'll be proud of whatever house he gets sorted into, won't we Sev?" _

He always scowled at her for using her name for him in front of Potter and Black but his face would soften eventually.

_"Of course." _

And now his son was days away from coming to Hogwarts. He was days away from seeing his son face to face for the first time in ten years. He'd see those bright green eyes again and see if Lily was correct in saying that as he grew up the Geminus Heriditas would cause Harry to develop some of Severus's features. He didn't think so. Potter's looks would be more pronounced, as James was the real father, not him.

He didn't want to admit to himself how apprehensive he was to meet Harry. Would there be any connection? Would he be able to act indifferent to the boy? He already tried to around Sirius although he knew the mutt saw through it. That didn't mean he could not continue to try to act that way.

He had resolved to act as he would to any other student and even though he would feel pride if Harry were to be sorted into Slytherin, he silently prayed that not be the case. It would be so much easier to stay distant to Harry if he were not in his own house. It would be easier to pretend to hate his son. He had a part to play and he knew that it would be better if he could do that as the git head of Slytherin rather than Harry's head of house.

"Why now, Severus shouldn't you be preparing for the feast?" A voice broke his concentration and Severus looked up sharply to see Lucius Malfoy leaning on his back room door threshold.

"Lucius," he inclined his head and stepped away from the counter where the Pepper Up potion was set to stew for five minutes, "Is everything set for the incoming first years?"

"As pitiful as it is to admit, yes, the Board of Governors had no complaints. Hogwarts is ready to open its doors." The man held up his cane and inspected the snake head, "I ran into Sirius Black in Diagon Alley earlier today." The Death Eater said, as if it were insignificant and had just come to his mind.

"Did you?" Severus turned his back for a moment and frowned, reaching for vials for the Pepper Up potion.

"Yes. I was rather surprised to see him out. I would have thought that Dumbledore would have kept him on a shorter leash."

"I'm sure Black disregarded Dumbledore's request. He was never one for orders." Severus said and occluded his mind while stirring the potion.

"You're still being sentenced to meet with him?" Lucius asked. Severus had always had a hard time of deciding on what half truths to tell others and meeting with Sirius was one of them. He knew he would have to explain it sooner or later because it would be too risky if Lucius or any of the others found out on their own. So he wove a tale of how he was helping Black search for Pettigrew. He added the rat's name in there in the hopes that Lucius would provide some illumination on the subject but none came.

"He believes he's found a lead on the rat."

"And are you going to continue now that term has started again?" Malfoy asked as his eyebrows rose to his hairline, "Will Dumbledore subject you to it any longer? I know how you loathe the man."

_If only you knew, _Severus couldn't help but think, "I believe that if I work on trying to get close to Black in time I can get close to the boy."

Lucius's face split into a smile, "Brilliant plan. Someone should avenge the Dark Lord."

Severus felt his hands tighten into fists and knew that Albus' request that Harry not know about him and Sirius was sound. There was a lot more than Voldemort they needed to protect him from.

"Have you heard of the break in at Gringotts?" Lucius asked smoothly as to change the subject.

He had. Albus was quite concerned that the day Hagrid had been sent to retrieve the Sorcerer's Stone from the vault; someone would also try to break in and steal it. It was safe however, deep inside the castle, "Yes."

There was a moment of silence in which all that could be heard was the bubbling of the potion.

"And?" Lucius said with the same impatience Severus had seen him have with Draco.

"And what? I do not know who broke into the vault or what was in it. Do you believe Dumbledore trusts me completely even after everything?" Severus asked, taking a ladle and preparing to pour some potion into the vials.

"So it was Hogwarts' business? Strange coincidence? Something mysterious is going on at this wonderful school while Harry Potter is about to start his first year?"

Severus put down his first vial and narrowed his eyes at Lucius, "I do not believe there is any correlation at all. We both know that Dumbeldore is a meddlesome old fool and could be involved in a number of things that would peak the interest of someone willing to break into Gringotts."

Lucius shook his head and pushed away from the threshold, "There's been talk."

Snape snorted, "From the likes of Mulciber or Avery? Yes, very reliable. Any time there's a storm, they'll talk."

Malfoy took a deep breath, "I feel something in the air, Severus. Something I haven't felt in eleven years."

A clocked chimed and Severus couldn't help it but jump just a tiny bit. Lucius looked at his own wrist, inches down from where the end of the dark mark was, "Narcissa and I have to bring Draco to the train now. I expect you'll see him soon?"

Severus smirked as thoughts of the sorting came back to him, "Of course."

The other man nodded and then turned around, walking swiftly back the way he came. Severus swallowed and tried to put the Death Eater's words aside.

* * *

Uncle Vernon stood at the door for a full ten minutes, staring out the peephole to make sure not one of the neighbors were outside before he allowed Harry to go out to the car. Dudley was ushered into the car by Petunia, who had a bag of all her 'Diddykin's' favorite treats for the terrible car ride to the King's Cross Station and then his trip to the hospital to get the tail removed.

Uncle Vernon looked around as he opened the back of the car and hauled Harry's trunk inside, "Take care of that ruddy bird," he told Harry with a jerk of his head in the direction of the car. Harry slid in and set Hedwig on the seat between him and Dudley, where his cousin was whimpering in pain due to the ache of his new appendage.

Uncle Vernon pulled out of the driveway cautiously before picking up speed down the road. It wasn't until they were half way down the street that he slammed on his breaks and let out a string of swears.

"Padfoot!" Harry yelled as he saw the dog was inches away from the front of the car and bearing his teeth.

"Honk at it Vernon. We don't want to miss Dudley's appointment." Aunt Petunia said and Dudley shrunk lower into his seat.

Uncle Vernon rolled down the window and waved his one hand. Honking with the other, "Move you mutt!"

The dog growled louder but turned slowly to walk away. Before the dog could fully turn its back on the car, Harry was certain he saw it wink in his direction before trotting off across to a neighbor's yard.

As Uncle Vernon sped off down the street, Harry shifted so he could stare at the retreating form of the dog, but Padfoot was gone. There was only the outline of a man where Padfoot once was and Harry thought he might've been Padfoot's owner.

"Well there you are, boy. Platform nine—platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet, have they?"

Harry was not staring at the signs like Uncle Vernon wanted him too, he was too busy staring at the dog that looked too much like Padfoot . The dog was feet away by a rubbish can staring at every passerby with interest and when the steady stream of them went by, he would stare at Harry too. There was something strange about it but before he could think about it more, Uncle Vernon snapped his hands in front of his face.

"Have a nice term," he said, grinning in a distasteful manner and left without saying anything else.

And then Harry was alone. He turned around to see if the dog was there and he was not. Suddenly, since this whole thing had started Harry felt a bit scared.

What if this was some sort of joke? Or, what if they had made a mistake and the Platform was only seen by real wizards and he wasn't one? His heart started to pound when a group of people passed him, "—packed with muggles of course—"

Harry straightened up and pushed his cart forward. Maybe there was a way onto the platform after all. Just as he was about to follow them more closely he caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eye of a big black dog and if it were possible he'd have said the dog was smiling.

* * *

**A/N: **Happy New Year everyone! I just wanted to take a moment to thank you guys for all of the alerts and favorites. It's wonderful! Perhaps I could coax you into reviewing as well? I really love writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it and it would make my day if a a few of you could let me know what you think! Also, I apologize for a few mistakes I've made with canon. For the purposes of this story, let's just leave everything as is, okay? And if you didn't notice anything then disregard this last bit. So Happy New Year!


	4. Snape

Sirius sat in the ruins of his godson's nursery, going back and forth in the rocking chair he had persuaded Severus to buy. His heart was beating in tandem with the motion of the chair and he closed his eyes as he tried to get his breathing under control.

_Another childish display, Padfoot? _He could almost hear Prongs ask. He imagined the other man standing in front of him, straightening his glasses and running a hair through his untidy hair.

It wasn't the first time he'd made a wreck of a room, a few rooms at Grimmauld place were the focus of his more terrible tantrums, and every time he felt a little more dejected.

With a hopeless wave of his wand, he picked up the lamp on dressing table, set the pensieve right, patched a hole in the wall and fixed the broken cot in the corner.

He had once had such expectations. He had carefully picked out everything in the room that he thought the baby would need, taken whatever was salvageable from the wreck of the Potter home, and made the nursery a fit place to raise his godson. There was a Gryffindor banner on the wall the cot was up against, put there with the same permanent sticking charm he had used on his own posters in his room at Grimmauld place. At night, there was a spell on the ceiling that made the stars twinkle like the night sky. The cot was nearly filled to the brim with as much stuffed toys he and Severus could find, especially the one lion that they were able to save from Harry's other nursery.

He tried to offer this all to Dumbledore to give to Petunia and Vernon, but the Headmaster had said that perhaps the Dursley's would prefer to provide Harry with new things. Sirius snorted, _yeah right. _After all this is over and Harry was safe with Severus and him, he'd have a nice long chat with Mr. and Mrs. V. Dursely.

He imagined somewhere up there; Prongs and Lily were probably looking down at him with sad expressions and shaking their heads. Why in the world did they ever make someone like him Harry's godfather? Wherever they were, Heaven probably because that's what James and Lily deserved, they were either cursing his name or laughing at his attempt to be as normal as possible while he bided his time waiting for Harry.

"I'm sorry, mate," he said to the room hoping that James wherever he was Heaven, elsewhere, or standing around following him on the ethereal plane, he could hear him, "I promise that I won't screw up any longer, alright? I'll be there in any way I can and when it comes time for Harry to find out about me and-" he rolled his eyes for good measure knowing that Prongs would appreciate it, "-Severus that he'll have my total support and love and a lot that. Yeah? We good?"

He felt like an arse and a half for sitting there like that but it made him feel a little better. He was just going along wherever this all had taken him. And he would continue to do that, just go with the flow. Severus would, as he always had, call him a lackadaisical prat but he really only had a few temperaments. When he was Padfoot, he was likeable unless he or his pack was threatened and he was pretty much the same as Sirius as well, if not for a little obnoxious at times but that was something he'd never admit to good old Sev.

So he just sat rocking, waiting until Dumbledore sent notice that the ceremony and feast were over. He just had to keep himself feeling less depressed and try not to trash any more rooms.

"Oh and a first year will fall in the lake on the way in. Poor dear. I predict many accidents ahead," Sybill Trewalany said to no one in particular as she fixed her glasses and fidgeted in her seat as if she was a student herself and not a professor. Severus swallowed the urge to make a comment and carefully listened to Quirrell stutter his way through what he did over the summer. Something with a study on boggarts.

He wouldn't have been able to focus on his colleagues talk even if he had been interested. In less than ten minutes he would see his son for the first time. He would not have to rely on what Albus, Arabella or Black said about his wellbeing. He wondered if what he felt was not unlike what parents endured when their children had been away for some months, like when they attended Hogwarts. Of this he would never be certain because he was a professor at a school where his son went. In that aspect he was lucky. Once Harry knew about him and had become acquainted with the situation they would be the first parent and child pair that Hogwarts had seen in a few generations. It was definitely going to prove to be interesting, providing that they even got to that point if everything went well.

And everything would go well. He would do everything, as the Geminus heriditas oath said, in his power to see to it that Harry knew he had support and protection and even love. It just might take a while.

Before he could further ruminate with that train of thought the huge doors to the Great Hall opened and Professor McGonagall stepped forward, trailing behind her the first years and somewhere among them, Harry.

"I don't believe I see any wet students, Sybill," Charity said with raised eyebrows but nothing else was said as the first years were brought in to stand before the hat. Severus tried not to show it but he peered around, sorting through children with blond, black, blond and the few distinct red heads. He finally noticed a child standing closed to a red haired boy who seemed to be muttering something to him. It took a second but the boy looked up and Severus inhaled quickly.

Yes, that was definitely Harry. Untidy black hair, scar beneath the fringe, and Lily's deep green eyes. Of course, subtly he noticed a few things that any one not looking for might find. A hook to his small nose, a certain set to his jaw that Severus had seen in his own family. There was no doubting that there were the subtlest traces of Snape in Harry Potter and the idea added a smirk to his features.

"When I read your name you will come up to place the hat on your head to be sorted into your house. Abbot, Hannah," Minerva read and so started the sorting.

There had always been a sort of game for the professors who were around the few days before term had started. They would sit at dinner and amicably chat over the incoming students, betting who might get into what houses, who were toss-ups, and the like. Students like Ronald Weasley were bound to Gryffindor before they were even born but someone like Neville Longbottom was a toss up. Hufflepuff perhaps? Perhaps Gryffindor. "His parents were," Minerva had said at dinner the night before. He had noticed with some interest that Harry's name was not mentioned.

_Everyone thinks my son will most definitely be in Gryffindor, _he thought. And there was nothing wrong with it. He had, just earlier in the day, thought about how that would better suit them. No doubt it would drive Sirius up a wall to have his godson in Slytherin.

He golf clapped with the rest of the teachers and the Headmaster as they went down the list. Pansy Parkinson had just been called up so that meant.

"Harry Potter," McGonagall's voice rang out and if it were possible the whole hall went quiet all at the same moment. The silence, compared to the deafening roar of voices, was intimidating.

He raised his eyebrows and looked sidelong at the Headmaster, who sat forward a bit. Ah yes, the part we all have been waiting for.

He noticed the boy walk slowly up to the chair, not as stiffly as he had done all those years before, but as cockily as James nor as gentle as Lily. He seemed almost apprehensive and why should he be? It wasn't as if the hat would bite him nor would it declare him un-sortable. If anyone in the whole hall deserved to be there, it was his son. So why did he look, as he sat down on the stool, as if this was a dream he was afraid he'd wake up from if he wasn't careful.

The hall was still quiet except for maybe a cough or mutter but it seemed like everyone leaned in forward as the hat deliberated on top of Harry's head. It took time with people, he knew. Some students the hat didn't even get on their head before calling out their house.

He narrowed his eyes just as the house called out, "GRYFFINDOR!"

When Albus clapped him on the back he tried not to look relieved.

Harry was to busy listening to his new housemates talk around him to notice the slow build up of pressure in his head around his scar. It was not a new sensation, he had had headaches that started like that before but as he looked up in one direction at the staff table, the pain coalesced to a sharp sting.

Many feelings and thoughts ran through his mind at that second. He felt dread, anger, sadness, and anxiety. He swallowed in relief when it vanished. He found himself staring at the table at the front, his eyes roaming from Professor Dumbledore to Quirrel, who was turned away from the table. The man next to Quirrell, with eyes as dark as his robes, had on a quite unreadable expression; it wasn't really anger, Harry knew that all to well from years spent with Uncle Vernon, but it wasn't anything light either.

"Percy?" he asked the Gryffindor Prefect, who was helping himself to more Treacle tart. "Who's that next to Professor Quirrell?"

Percy looked up at the table and frowned, "Oh, that would be Professor Snape. He teaches Potions. Would rather teach defense against the dark arts, though."

He looked like someone who would teach Defense. Harry reckoned Potions weren't going to be a pleasant experience.

Harry and the rest of the school filed out of the Great hall later on, and to the common room the echoes of the Hogwarts school song behind them. He was just happy that for the first time, somewhere might feel like home.

Albus's office was dark save for a few candles that provided a very dim light. It was also quiet compared to the rumbling of energy focused on the outside. It was a welcome change. Severus had come directly to the Headmaster's office after the feast, knowing that Dumbledore would meet him soon after.

Fawkes was poised elegantly on his perch, blinking at different times and stretching his wings as if to disturb the quiet. Severus himself sat in his usual chair feeling more tired than he should have. He felt as if the past few days and the build up to Harry's sorting had been one long event that cost him more than sleep.

He remembered, when he was Harry's age, feeling so energized at night. There was a sense of excitement and nerves at being in a new place for the first time. He remembered getting little sleep the first night as he stayed up in the comfortable four poster bed in awe at this new experience. He was also thinking of Lily but that was something else all together.

"Hello. Can I walk through?" Sirius Black's head appeared in the floo.

"You do not need to walk through to have a conversation. The Headmaster and I can speak to you fine this way." Severus said, turning back around to face Dumbledore's desk.

"Yeah but where would the fun in that be?" Black answered and walked through anyway, dusting off his clothes when he stepped in and stood by the second chair in front of the large desk.

"So?" he asked after a moment, an expression on his face not unlike a child's face when excited about something.

"So what?"

"What house was he sorted into?"

Sirius' face was so eager and Severus felt his mouth rise in a sinister smile, "Ravenclaw."

The look of horror crossed over the man's face was quickly replaced by seriousness. "Oh, well, I always knew he was going to be intelligent." Sirius sniffed and shook his head, "I'm just shocked that's all. Quite unexpected."

This time Snape did smile, "You are as gullible as you look, aren't you Black?"

"So he _was _sorted into Gryffindor!" Sirius grinned and sat down in the chair.

"I will neither confirm nor deny until the Headmaster gets here." Severus said, looking straightforward and avoiding the other man.

"Prat." Sirius muttered.

Fawkes stirred and trilled moments before Albus walked in the door, "Evening, gentlemen."

Sirius raised his hand and Severus nodded sharply in greeting.

"Have you heard the good news Sirius? Congratulations are in order."

Sirius sat up in his chair and threw a look at the Severus, "He neglected to tell me."

"Ah," Dumbledore said, pulling out his favorite candies and popping a few in his mouth, "Harry has been sorted into Gryffindor."

"I knew it!" Sirius said proudly and Severus shook his head.

"Unless, of course you have any objections Severus?" Albus said, fixing him with a look over his half moon glasses, his blue eyes twinkling as they always did.

"What do you mean?" Severus looked quickly at Sirius who looked just as confused as he felt.

"Well, we haven't had a parent at the school in years but usually a professor who is also a parent has the right to contest the sorting if it does not match their own house. Harry could very well be an honorary Slytherin." Dumbledore told them to which Sirius made a choking noise and Severus only smirked.

"I believe his sorting was fine, Albus but thank you for the consideration." Severus said.

"How was he? Did he look happy? Did he meet anyone on the train?" Sirius fired off questions while fidgeting, as he always did the man could hardly stay still for a second.

"He looked happy, yes. I noticed that he was sitting with the youngest Weasley boy but anyone else he might have met on the train and befriended we will not know until classes start. As for that we should probably call it a night. Severus has his first first years to start tomorrow-"

"Harry?" Sirius interrupted the Headmaster.

"No, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs," Severus shuddered at the dreaded combination of first years.

"Very well then. We will meet next Friday evening? Around the same time, perhaps a little earlier?" Albus asked.

Severus nodded and Sirius stood up. "Good night everyone," Sirius said cheerfully and disappeared through the floo.

"Goodnight Professor," Dumbledore said with a smile as Severus also exited trying not to project to what a disaster tomorrow would probably be.

After a walk around the dungeons to confirm that there was no wandering curious first years or older students out after curfew Severus returned to his own quarters. He found that sleep even with a dreamless sleep potion would be unattainable and found a journal of a Potion's Master from the early 1800s to bide his time.

It wasn't able to hold his attention more than a few entries though and he kept staring off into space, finding himself imagining bright green eyes. First, Lily's and then Harry.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to wonder how difficult he would make everything if he waltzed up to the Gryffindor tower and told Harry everything right then and now. What could Dumbledore really do? He knew this was the attitude that Sirius had and maintained. What was the worst that could happen?

He grimaced as his own mind supplied the answer to that question in horrifying detail from scores of memories. There were plenty of things that could happen. It was just best to let it play out.

The journal forgotten, he sat comfortably in the chair and let his mind wander. As rudimentary as that sounded and common it was something he tried to limit. Even though he was not called to meetings with the dark lord at random intervals he did feel the need to keep his thoughts guarded. The war had taught him to think only in focused tasks and stay on point. It was key to survival and after the Geminus heriditas was performed, it was important for his son and Lily as well.

A memory latched onto his thinking then and he smiled. "A crying day?" he heard himself ask as if he were viewing the memory in the penseive. He wondered if he brought it up to Sirius if the other man would remember. Probably. The ex-auror had an almost frightening ability to remember things, especially around that time. It was as if he was his own pensieve. Severus knew it had something to do with the guilt. It made Black more aware of everything so he could relieve every crucial detail and go over where he might have been able to change something.

The memory Severus was focused on now was just a normal ordinary day. It wasn't something he would have thought to but in the pensieve to show his son but he would if the boy ever wanted stories of when he was a baby. Well, in this Harry wasn't a baby. It was a few weeks before he was born actually.

Snape could remember a few weeks after D-day as James liked to call it, or when Sirius found out about the Geminus heriditas, Lily firecalled him at his house in Spinner's end requesting if he'd like to have lunch with her and the boys. The boys being Potter and Black, he assumed and even though the idea delighted him as much as sticking his hand in a jar of blast ended skrewts, he agreed anyway.

He came to the cottage and walked up the steps, noticing that Lily's lovely garden looked livelier than ever.

The door opened before he could knock and he stood looking at a frazzled, if it were more possible, looking James. His hair was up in even more positions than usual and his glasses were actually on straight being the man had probably being fixing them compulsively as he did when he was nervous.

"Beware," he said in a voice not just above a whisper. "It's a crying day."

His face, usual impassive around Potter to keep from betraying emotion, screwed up. "What?"

"A crying day," Sirius Black said behind him as if this was obvious. He looked imperceptivity more calm, his maroon colored sweater rolled up at the sleeves and his face in an expression that one has when trying very hard not to laugh. He tossed a golden snitch in the air and caught it and if not for the pact he had made between the four of them there was no denying that he might have hexed Black for being an cocky arse right than and there.

"What is a crying-" He stopped mid sentence as he saw Lily down in the kitchen at the stove. She paused and used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes.

"Go now, save yourself. This is only for better men and the brave at heart," Sirius whispered furiously and stepped closer to James to block the path inside.

Potter gave Sirius a look but before he could say anything to his best friend, Lily looked up from the stove.

"Too late," Sirius sighed and Severus pushed the door open and past Sirius.

"Sev?" Lily's voice carried from the kitchen. "You came?" her voice hitched on came and then she buried her face in her hands.

"Aw, Lil. It's okay, Sna- I mean, Severus just came for lunch. Don't cry," James said and moved away from Sirius and Snape into the kitchen to hold Lily.

"I know," Lily said, against James' shoulder.

"That's a crying day. I said hi to her and she dissolved into sobs. The woman is very hormonal. Best to just smile and nod, okay?" Sirius said and then followed his fellow Gryffindor into the other room.

He took a deep breath and followed as well.

The Lunch spread that decorated the table was nothing short of what the Hogwarts House elves could produce. Severus was impressed and watched as Lily pulled herself together, wiping her eyes with the sides of her thumbs and then waving her wand a few more times to move the plates around to make room for them to sit. She turned around and noticed Sirius, Severus and James hovering in the small kitchen and gestured, "Well?" she said. "I didn't make all this so you could stare at it!"

"Her moods tend to fluctuate," Sirius stage whispered to Severus as he moved around him to sit.

Lily, happy where everything was positioned, finally sat as well and they began eating.

A small strangling noise escaped Lily's mouth as she picked up a plate of assorted meats and cheeses. "Are you alright?" Severus asked going to grab for his wand for fear that she was choking.

When she looked up at him he could see that she was tearing up. "Cheese," she said miserably. "Cheese is making me cry right now. How horrible is that? I feel like I've been hit by a terrible curse. Everything and I mean _everything_ is making me emotional." She gave Potter a fierce glare. "You did this to me, you know."

"Me?" James looked affronted and Sirius stifled a laugh.

"Yes," Lily choked and then looked down at her belly. "I'm sorry Harry, love, I didn't mean you. You can make Mummy cry, it's fine."

Sirius gave Severus a look then that clearly said, _well mate; you missed your chance of escape. _

A few minutes later they were treated to the reason as to why Harry might be better suited at playing football rather than quidditch. "Sorry, Sirius. It's just this boy has one hell of a kick."

Lily's face was alight with pleasure than and she pushed back from the table quickly and was up so fast that the other three men startled and got up just as quickly. "Do you want to feel him?" she asked suddenly, a huge grin on her face that spread all the way to her green eyes.

It took Severus a moment to realize that she was talking to him. "What?" he asked.

"Your son. Would you like to feel him kick?"

Severus swallowed hard at the use of _your son. _Especially from Lily's mouth and especially in front of Sirius and James.

"I'm sure James and Sirius would like to-"

"Sev, really, they've felt it so many times they're probably bored." She moved around the table and smiled encouragingly at him. "Go ahead."

He slowly, as if he was afraid she might break if he touched her, moved his hand to her belly. The moment he laid it there he felt a quick _thwap. _

He looked up at her quickly and she giggled, as if they were in the park at Spinner's End and she had done some bit of accidental magic.

He closed his eyes for a moment, briefly, aware that he did not deserve this.

Lily, though, as she always did, knew just what he was thinking and what to say. "He needs us. He deserves it and so do you."

Even eleven years later, miles away in his Dungeon Hogwarts Quarters he could hear her voice and see her content face. A face that was there, if not partly, on his son. Their son. He just didn't know how to go about meeting him.

He woke up a few hours later realizing that he'd fallen asleep in his chair. He got up slowly and stretched before returning to his own bed, knowing that facing classes tomorrow would be even more loathsome and exhausting if he did not try to get at least two or three hours of good rest.

"Should I even ask what you are doing?"

Sirius had a quill in his mouth, his hands were spread on two corners of a massive piece of parchment and his head was bowed down studying it with an intensity he might have looked at Quidditch statistics as a teenager. He stood up though, when he heard Remus' voice and let the parchment curl up and took the quill out of his mouth.

"I'm plotting." He said seriously and moved around the table, scratching his hand and scowling as he tried to focus on the task at hand.

"Plotting. Plotting what?" Remus sounded amused and a tad bit concerned, like he would when he came in the common room to find he and James talking rapidly about a new prank in the making.

"I've decided I'm not waiting for everything to just happen. I'm going to find Peter and I'm going to get to know my godson, raise him before I'm as old as Dumbledore."

Remus let out a sigh. "And how do you plan on doing that?'

"I'm making a map." He said and traded the quill with the wand that was stashed in his back pocket.

"A map?" Remus sounded incredulous and Sirius took a turn to look at his face, which was a mixture of disbelief and confusion.

"Yes. _A map. _Une carte. And I plan on mapping specific people not places. I'll choose Harry, Severus, Dumbledore, you, me. " Sirius narrowed his eyes. "The map isn't really a map at all. It's more of a compass, I suppose. It will tell us where someone is relative to us." He gestured to the map. "If I was looking for you, an arrow would point toward the north because relative to me that's where you are."

Remus folded his arms. "Why don't you just use a point me spell?"

"Because maps are better? And because I was planning on sort of copying our own Marauders Map on this map. And perhaps then expanding to Diagon Alley and the like. With the added bonus of the people mapping feature."

"Well what if Peter is up North or somewhere we didn't map?"

"It's still here to keep an eye on Harry." Sirius muttered, smoothing out the corners again.

"Is that what this is all about?" Remus asked softly, moving closer into the room and taking a seat at one of the chairs Sirius had discarded.

"What's all about?"

"Severus and Dumbledore get to see Harry and actually speak to him. You don't. You want to feel like you're having some control in helping him."

Sirius shrugged. "Well, yeah."

"Don't you think this might be tedious? Harry's well protected Sirius. And you'll only get more paranoid. As for Peter, there's a mate I know who is gathering information about animagi trying to catch refuge. We can go talk to him once he contacts me."

Sirius let out a huge sigh and nodded, flicking his wand and folding up the parchment. "I'm not completely abandoning the idea though."

Sirius brought out the firewhisky and poured two shots for the both of them. "To Harry being in Gryffindor," they toasted happily. "May I continue to say I told you so to Snape many times in the future."

Remus snorted but downed the shot also. It might have been the burn of the whisky down his throat but he knew that once Remus left he'd start trying to figure out some way to at least see his godson. Maybe if he suggested going on around full moons in the shrieking shack or in the Dark Forest? He let the train of thought hang and pushed it away, knowing there had to be some way and he wouldn't be a Marauder if he didn't try to work it out.


End file.
